How do you know when to walk away from a job? And do you know how to “craugh”?

My guest today is Stacey, the owner of Stacey Dimitriou Coaching and the founder of Alpha Women Rising, a free Facebook Community celebrating female Strength, Confidence and Resilience.

Stacey previously founded and managed a successful seven figure events business for 13 years with her husband Jim, while juggling their two children. After selling Divine Events, Stacey enjoyed being a stay at home mum for seven years, and then the seven-year business itch hit! She began teaching women how to reclaim their confidence through their courage and saw the immense impact women’s empowerment has on our society as a whole.

In today’s episode we discuss the myths of being an entrepreneur, including getting to the heart of the mindset you need to be successful. We also chatted about how you create confidence and “craughing”, not to be confused with crafting.

• [3.16] Stacey’s superpower: walking away when something doesn’t work for her. I love this because my philosophy is “the happiness is in the leaving”.

• [4.00] Finishing her degree and getting places on three graduate programmes. However, the culture didn’t suit her life: “How am I going to progress here without doing all these things and compromising my values? That was never going to be an option.”

• [7.07] Stacey quit and walked away from her graduate programme 20 years ago to start her chair cover business. Stacey’s husband was mortified, he could have passed out. She has never looked back.

• [08.55] Feedback from the people around her. Stacey’s Mum and Dad said go for it. Jim’s family were a little more apprehensive as they had a lot to risk, but risk for Stacey is opportunity and excitement. Friends were mortified. After your exit you will never get a job in this industry again.

• [11.00] How creating a business was her opportunity to build a culture that looked after people not just people’s egos.

• [11.16] She couldn’t sew, but she bought 5,000m of fabric and started making 400 chair covers by hand. I’m going to jump into this. Four months in, her husband quit to join her. We are all in.

• [12.17] The trigger to sell the successful events company after 12 years of a lot of evolution, from herself to a team of over 30 staff, from one product to a massive styling and events company. They had far exceeded goals; they had two children and sacrificed a lot and when the little one was three Stacey said: “I cannot do this anymore.”

• [13.50] There’s always a sacrifice: money, family life, health. There was an imbalance. She had never been a full-time parent and “this what I am doing now”.

• [14.29] The important check point: is work actually integrating and supporting the bigger picture of my life. How Stacey measures if work is enriching her life: when she is compromising family time for work time that is the non-negotiation for her. A wife, a friend, over any financial gain she could get from a business now.

• [16.15] Entrepreneurs feed off risk. A good entrepreneur is addicted to risk.

• [16.35] Stacey cringes when she hears “I’m an entrepreneur.” When you know the commitment and the risk in doing it successfully. Everyone is calling themselves an entrepreneur. A trend of let’s quit my job and start an online business.

• [17.50] The myths Stacey wants to squash about being an entrepreneur: The propaganda of how many figures, it matters how much profit you are making. Some people only need a smaller amount of profit to live a well-balanced life, for other they need a massive profit. Anyone can start a website and technically start a business. It’s like saying I dated someone once and now I’m a relationship expert. There is a lot of risk involved. You’re going to be knocked down 9/10. Being really comfortable with unpredictability, lots of scary decisions and not being able to hide.

• [20.15] Re-adjusting a current position to make it work better. Massive change is not always necessary. Look at all different options to make a change. It’s tweaking sometimes. You can renegotiate how your current work fits into your life.

• [21.53] Integrity: Stacey doesn’t think it’s focussed on enough. Lots of procedural stuff around this. Everyone’s core is who they are supposed to be. People over think the integrity piece. If you’ve got the icky feeling in your stomach, you’re not doing the right thing.

• [23.00] Stacey very rarely second guesses herself. She really believes we know what is best for us. Ignore the commentators go away (people who commentate the sport but have not actually played the sport). We can’t take advice from everyone. Crowd pleasing is not good for anyone. Model the advice of the people who are living the life you want.

• [23.35] Find where you can go that really suits your personality to bring out the best in you. Whatever decision you make now, isn’t for the rest of your life.

• [26.40] Being an entrepreneur, the first three years, is like an apprenticeship. Being realistic and being ok with not getting it right. Look for the humour in everything.

• [27.35] The “craugh”: half laughing, half crying.

• [28.16] Whether starting a business or a new position, have at the forefront your values and how are they being fulfilled.

• [28.35] Mindset to underpin this: adaptability, appetite for risk, commitment, be light-hearted. Stacey and Jim’s mantra (it’s brutal): but “if it doesn’t kill us it will make us strong.”

• [32.50] Stacey’s tips for building confidence. The small easy to follow equation. Everyone has faced a fear and observed it, looking back is what gives you the confidence to do something similar. Fear + courage = confidence.

• [34.36] Every woman is an Alpha Woman. That makes some people cringe. Someone who stands in her power, who leads. Without Alpha cannot have anything else. Find your genius zone and lead in your own life.

• [35.49] Leading is scary. There is a hell of a lot of responsibility, but also so much reward. You feel stuck when you are not leading in your own life.

• [36.46] Confidence detective – find all the pieces of evidence that you have it!

• [37.11] Emotions pass throughout our bodies in 90 seconds if we don’t attach to them. Confidence is not an identity, it’s a state you embody. There is no such thing as “I am not a confident person.”

• [38.58] Alpha Women Rising Facebook Group if you want to talk about it and rub shoulders digitally with other Alpha Women. Diverse backgrounds, ages, work places – allowed, if they choose, to be vulnerable. Conversations around topics perhaps we cannot talk about, but in a light-hearted way.

• [40.13] Vulnerability and confidence – you cannot be in a true place of confidence without being vulnerable. Gives us credibility when we are raw and open and vulnerable. The capacity for soft and strong.

• [41.29] Stacey has a women’s workshop in December, and she is writing a chapter in a book called Change Makers, coming out in December.

• [43.19] Stacey’s final thoughts: When the fear is there, it’s a good thing. You are just at the edge of something exciting and you’ll never know unless you step in.

Want to follow Stacey’s adventures? Follow her on instagram.